Category: Spiritual Awakening

Your own spiritual awakening is the key that unlocks the mystery and purpose of life. Find it and you find you!

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KNOWING

When we stop talking to ourselves we open ourselves to the vaults of eternity and the understanding of men, which can only be understood three dimensionally, gives way to knowing that is not of this world but of the infinity of which it is only a part. The language of infinity is silence and the sweetness of knowing, as the gods know, is simply known. There is no describing it in three dimensional terms, thus no reason for talking and explanation. Metaphorically, we need to see with our ears and to hear with our eyes that which can only come from an unspoken language we all know but have simply drowned out in the language of everyday life. The greater part of understanding is that which cannot be comprehended or explained by the languages we speak! When we stop talking to ourselves and silence the noise of language and thinking we become the receptors of understanding and knowing that descends upon us from the vast stores of the universe from which there is no beginning or ending.

We are literally a part of everything we see and don’t see in this universe.  We are inextricably connected at a deep level to all that is, was, or will ever be.  In fact, to say that we are connected to all that was, is or will be is a great example of the limitation of our languages. Past and future do not exist and cannot be a part of the now that we find ourselves in! We carry the past with us in our minds and the future we fantasize about but they are nonexistent and our language is remiss to give a concept of that. Instead we devise languages that gives them meaning and place in our limited understanding and we are forever trying to reconcile nonexistence with existence. They are both without meaning except to the mind that has quieted itself and the inner god who knows all things on some other level that cannot be put into to the words of language as we know it. Our existence is truly profound when we give up viewing it in the confinement of our own illusions that are constantly reinforced by our talking and thinking. Sometimes in the quiet stillness of the mind all that is simply is and that is all the knowing we need. At the energetic level everything just is!

The God of the Old Testaments stated, “I am the same yesterday, today and forever.”  It might be better said “I am yesterday, today and forever.” There are no distinctions between past, present and future in the realm of knowing quiet, distilled truth and all of us at one time or another have felt the peace that comes in that knowing. It settles upon us like mist and completely engulfs our mind and soul with an awareness that is unexplainable. Space and time lose their meaning at such times. Knowing is the most sublime dimension and it operates outside space and time as our language has described it. Knowing is the only place gods could ever make the statement that they are yesterday, today and forever because in such a place time and space have no bounds. They don’t exist. Three dimensional physics hold no ties to the infinite possibilities of knowing.

In the realm of gods there is no language of time or space. There isn’t a language of understanding that wrests our thinking and talking from an endless pursuit to comprehend everything three dimensionally. Gods know all things exist inside the present moment and whether we judge those things good or evil is of no consequence in infinity.  The space between the past and now or the future and now are nothing more than shadows.  Shadows of things we create and put there to fill a void.  A void that does not exist in infinity; A void of our own making.  There is no life past or life future.  It all is happening now, in the present and we don’t need to understand it!  We don’t need a historical context or three dimensional perspectives. The energy of life exists always and has never been disconnected in any way to time past or time future. There are no voids in space or time! The energy of life is always teeming and present and it permeates every construct we have created to define it in three dimensional terms. Energy is everywhere and energy is life!  All that we think we were or will be is all happening now and only in this now can we know what gods know!  In this present moment where the world has stopped, we as ageless existence, witness our oneness with it. It cannot be comprehended nor need it be. Our oneness with it transcends comprehension of the mind and simply makes us it!

We are the good that we love, the evil we hate, the darkness we fear, the light that gives hope.  We are all things, people, places we imagine or cannot imagine.  We are all thoughts and forms and are endowed with power to create the good we cherish or the evil we despise in this existence.  We are the beauty that loves and the ugliness that hates.  We are the then, the now, and the yet to be simultaneously in a never-ending timeless sea of infinite life. We are receptors of every form of energy that surrounds us continuously and endlessly and while we do not have a language, in this reality, that can accurately describe everything that is going on around us we do have a language, not of words and expressions, that communicates to us clearly that with everything in the universe we are a part! We are being spoken to by infinity every single moment of our lives and all we need to do is stop, be still and listen and in waves of indescribable beauty it pours into us.

The spectrum of time and space leaves us wondering for the “how” of all things.  Our egoic minds want to know order, chronology and placement in the reality we have created. We crave this knowing and want our language to describe it to us so we understand in relationship to our reality.

Instead of feeling the wonder of existence and our oneness with it we want to define it, thus diluting it in finite reason and dogmatic conjecture. We search for definitions and descriptions where none are needed nor will we ever be able to develop a language that could ever give adequate meaning to the spectacle of this infinite universe we are all a part of. We must leave the norms we have come to accept and step outside time and space to ever be able to know as the gods all the mysteries we seek to know and describe. Leaving the spectrum of time and space leaves us in absolute awe of everything.  Good is evil and evil is good.  It all just is.  We breathe all of it in and embrace it as what we are, without judgment and without question, historical context or analysis of any kind.  Only acceptance and love.  Not the love that ties us to anyone or anything, but the pure love that holds no boundary.  No limits.  No emotion.  Energetic love that exist in all things, at all times and in all places.

We have no words, no thoughts, no thinking.  Ego has blended into everything else and all struggles have ceased.  We have no arguments. The existence of every act, thought or thing is us as we are it.

Existence fills our bodies as our bodies fill existence.  All that is, is known to us because we are the knowing.  The seeker no longer seeks for that which is not understood.  Knowing requires no understanding.  “All is.”  We are the “all” that “is”.  Knowing simply rests upon us and it requires no words or expressions or thoughts or thinking to give it place in our existence. It fills us with wonder and awe that has no expression. In the quietness of mind knowing finds a place within where it instills itself and in that instant we know God for she is us and we are her.

“Be still and know the knowing.”  “You are god and in stillness she will find you.”

Adapted from the book: On Being God-Beyond Your Life’s Purpose!

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The Unconscious Life – The Dreamer and the Dreamed

 

For many of us, life as we now know it is the dream, a dream in the sense that who we really are is unknown to us and sleeps soundly amidst the noise, hustle and bustle of everyday life, and egocentric conversation.  Occasionally, as we dream, our level of consciousness is raised to a level of awareness that reminds us, as we sleep, that we are asleep.  That something or someone long forgotten is there beneath the noise, quiet and calm, but ever present and sometimes only aware as through a fog or mist.  Occasionally, we sense another self and wish we could know it in a way that we know other things in our typical dream world.

We are often reminded that we are something else, completely different from that which we manifest in the dream.  At times, it is as if the part of us that is asleep and the part that is the dream become simultaneously and vaguely aware of the other’s existence, but also know that being in the presence of the other is intolerable.  It is a parallel awareness that is often fleeting, but nonetheless powerful and jarring to all of our senses.  At these times, we become thoughtful and contemplative and wonder “Who Am I?”, or we may ask other deep questions such as “Where did I come from?” and “Where am I going?”  It is almost as if the sudden awareness of that sleeping self is a haunting, a calling out from another part of ourselves that is eerily familiar but distant and unknown as well.

The feeling is not unlike déjà vu.  Sometimes we may ask, “What was that?”  We may become quiet and subdued and contemplative as we try to put into our own three-dimensional terms what we know, but don’t know!  Our contemplation may take us back through our history to recapitulate defining events in our lives that shaped us but drain us of our energy.  Some of those past memories may trigger sorrow, joy, sadness, happiness or any number of other emotions or feelings that seem to cause us to retract into another place of meaning, discovery, and knowing that we struggle to understand.  “Where did I go?” we may ask as we try to bring forward into present time that seemingly lost soul we thought we knew and actually did know sometime before.  Locked inside that knowing, we struggle to identify who it was that was hidden away and forgotten, only to be thought of in these rarest of moments when, for whatever reason, the dreamer tries to awaken from that deep unknowing sleep.

It is as if the dreamer dreams and the dreams themselves live.  They do, in fact, seem so real that we are lost to the illusion on display before us and rarely do we ever escape it. Life for most of us is the dream of one who fell asleep long, long ago, perhaps as children. The process of falling asleep begins at birth when everyone in our newly awakened life takes on the responsibility of convincing us that what they see is all that is there. Every institution we are exposed to in life from our birth to our death is the magic dust that keeps us asleep.

What we call ‘reality’ really is the illusion, the dream, the life played out as the dreamer sleeps.  The dreamer, aware of the other reality being played out but frozen in the dream, tries to awaken or call out as if to cry, “Stop! That is the dream.  True reality can only appear when I awaken.  I am the only way to true reality and the answers you seek. Be still and you will find me, for I am always here” the voice of the dreamer whispers. Sometimes we almost awaken and know that we have been dreaming and our hearts fill with a wanderlust and exhilaration as we catch a glimpse of the true reality outside the dream. We struggle inside the dream to awaken fully to this distant knowing, long ago tucked away in the bright lights of the illusion we now experience.

Sadly, for most of us, the dream overwhelms the dreamer because the language of the dreamer cannot be understood in the language of the dream.  The dream is action and drama, movement and suspense.  The dreamer is still and quiet and falls again and again back into the deep sleep where the dream lies safe and protected from any onslaught of true reality.

It really is like watching a movie.  The events are unreal but we attach ourselves to them emotionally as if they were.  We let ourselves get drawn into the action as if we were really a part of the fictional events taking place.  So lost in the movie do we become that we lose all awareness that we are sitting in a theater watching unreal events as if they were real, believing they are real!

We have coined new terminology that accepts non-reality as good enough to be reality.  We call it ‘virtual reality.’  Virtual reality might be thought of as the reality of non-reality, if that could possibly make any sense.  Think about non-reality becoming more real.  As non-reality becomes more real, reality becomes less real.  The less real reality becomes, the more difficult finding and knowing the dreamer becomes.  In other words, virtual reality is “the dream becoming the dreamed.”  There is no longer a dreamer!

The language already exists that makes the ego lord over all.  It is the language that states, “We can feed you non-reality that is so real, you have no need for real reality”.  That is the language of ego serving every need of man to the exclusion of an inner knowing of the I am that dreams it all. Wake up, dreamer, and know thyself!

The unconscious life is the life of the dreamer never waking from the dream.  It is succumbing to the actual dream – the illusion that plays out as the life we live. Somehow, we must awaken from the sleep that dreams the dream we accept as reality, for everything we see or perceive as the dreamer sleeps is illusion.  All of it is illusion if not perceived by the awakened dreamer, the I am, that is one with all things great and small. The dreamer is he, who in those brief moments of insight or awakening, is the non identity we seek that is interconnected to everything in existence. Sometimes our reckoning with this insight is so overwhelming that we lose all sense of our identity and we simply breathe in all of life and our oneness with it. We no longer see it as something that lies before us; rather, we are it and it is us! We are quickened, as it were, and the dreamer outside the dream is aware of nothing but oneness with all that is–the unidentifiable I Am that always is revealed to our knowing! Not our language but our true inner knowing, the knowing that cannot be known at the physical sense level other than a burst of insight and exhilaration we feel all over.

Gods have no identity, other than the ones we give them, and neither should we since we, too, are gods. Our identities, which we are so attached to, tie us to the dream and give us place within it, adding to the virtual drama being played out day in and day out.

When Moses was commanded to lead the Israelites out of Egypt, he asked God, “Who should I tell them has sent me?” to which God replied “Tell them I am has sent you.” Who is the “I Am” God was speaking of that would be recognizable to the house of Israel? How do we identify with “I Am” when we are specifically looking for something to identify ourselves with? “I Am” is not an identity but a state of being. It is not a who but a what!

Moses asked for an identity and he received a state of being instead.  “I am has sent you.” Gods do not need an identity.  Look at the different identities and ways we have tried to describe God through the ages.  We say He is all knowing, mysterious, everywhere and nowhere, all powerful, the same yesterday, today and forever, so small He can dwell in your heart and so large He fills the universe, mindful of the least of these, but vengeful and jealous, kind and full of grace, perfect.

All of these descriptive terms are an unidentifiable way of identifying someone or something, and yet God in answering Moses’ inquiry, rather than giving him an identifiable name to use, provided a state of being.   In reality, it is useless to try to identify God as anything outside of I Am.  Gods simply are and when you strip away the illusion of ego and still the chattering mind, so are we.  So, to the unidentified, nothing need be identifiable.  It simply is a part of one universal and infinite I am, none greater than or less than.  All things sharing a common I am-ness that makes all things, including us, are equal.  We are, as is everything, infinite awareness.  Simply I am that I am.  We are existence!

When we awaken and begin living that reality, the illusion we once lived, the dream recedes into quiet background that only serves to give us a context with those who never reach the same awareness.  In other words, we know the reality in which they live, and can access them, live with them in every way, even though we have moved beyond that reality.  In this way, we can exist in a reality we know does not exist as anything other than an illusion or the dreams of many dreamers. It is “being in the world but not of it.”

Once we reach this state of being or awareness, things and people as we once knew them no longer need identification.  Histories and stories are no longer necessary.  Identifiers of any kind are no longer adequate in describing anything nor are they necessary.  All the baggage of knowing differences, placements, and time lines are no longer important and are no longer necessary as we perceive that everything in existence is energy radiating in every direction and mingling with our own.  Our new perception, or new seeing, takes on beauty that no three- dimensional sensing can comprehend.

Rare is the dreamer who wakes from the dream, and yet it is from the dream we must awaken in order to know the “I Am” within. That is where our true power lies and all the mysteries of heaven and earth come from that place, a place deep within. We are all gods, but for most of us, God sleeps. The noise of ego keeps the divine self at bay and our virtual reasoning convinces us over and over again that the illusion we all live in is the reality. All of our institutions support that and convince us ever more that the dream is anything but a dream.

We are gods and we all somehow know it when we awaken from the dream state most of us dwell in. Recognition of our godlike nature will never happen while we remain trapped in the illusion of our dreamlike state. The projection of life, the illusion we have accepted through years of egocentric conditioning, lacks the ability to comprehend the true power we all possess.  We will never know it living the illusion and watching what most of us call ‘life’ play itself out. After all it is only a dream!

How do we know we are in the dream? The dream or illusion is finite. Anything upon which we put finite limits is illusion! That which is finite has a beginning and an ending and carries a finite description as to what it is in three dimensional terms. Ego needs finality-a right or wrong or absolute answers to questions that have no answers when speaking of the infinite. When we look out at anything and see only what we have been conditioned to see we can describe it in very finite terms. In other words “the tree is a tree” or more specifically “the tree is an oak tree.” Illusion comes with description and details-identifiers that make it perceptible in our three dimensional terms and limited to that description.

Life, true life, is infinite. Without beginning or ending. It is so much more vast than any dream. In fact, in three dimensional terms, it is incomprehensible. It can only be comprehended through the eyes of the dreamer who is typically asleep-unconscious to what is really going on around him. The inner self, the dreamer, as it were, has the eyes to see but will rarely see. Most dreamers sleep comfortably, some fitfully, in the noise of illusion and the egoic drama that plays on and on. The non-identity, the I Am, always still, always quiet awaits the dreamer to become again as a child and awaken anew into the fullness of life and the acceptance of all that is! Children know this until we who sleep put them to sleep making them a part of the same dream we dream only now we have added more dreamers to the virtual reality we accept as reality.

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Cosmic Train

Kindile book cover OHBThis is the first chapter from my book “On Human Being – Loving and Living Without Purpose.”  I apologize for it’s length but hope you enjoy it in any case.

Earth life is a vacation from the cosmic train we all ride on through our infinite existence.  It is a unique experience all of us who choose to visit get to enjoy, if we accept that the only reason we are here is to enjoy.  It may seem erroneous to consider that we are here to experience three dimensional reality as a vacation or as something we should enjoy when we see so much pain, suffering and sorrow in the world.  The reality of existence here on earth is that it is nothing in comparison to our existence in eternity.  We are no less infinite on earth than we are in eternity.

While aboard the cosmic train, a few of us have gotten off here at earth and as we pass through the gates of birth, we enter a new kind of awareness that overwhelms everything else we once knew.  The old awareness gets tucked away but is always there.  We sense that there is more to us, but in the new earthly awareness, it is difficult to hold onto and pull it into this reality.  Some do and we see them as mysterious and unique, but never allow that, we too, are just as they are.  Earthly awareness is so tactile and sensory. The stimuli we take in through our earthly senses overwhelms us in a sea of experience and richness that is difficult to separate from the reality of who we truly are.  So we are driven to find answers in this reality to that mysterious knowing we have about ourselves that is bigger than our means of communication can express.  We look for meaning and purpose in terms of what we see and in the expressions we communicate, but even with all of that, we are sometimes left empty.  The search continues.  The purposes of life are explored and examined but the answers we seek lay hidden.

There really is no purpose in this life other than to experience reality as only humans can.  Every aspect of life should be embraced and we should revel in every minute of it regardless of whether we judge the experience good or bad.  Our purpose, if there is any purpose, is to live and live abundantly in the richness of sensory experiences our human existence allows.  Our existence “is” the meaning of life!  Living “it” is its only purpose.  However, it is ours to choose how we let the sensory awareness of this life be measured.  We can choose to embrace it and enjoy all its ups and downs, or we can be miserable as we slog our way through it to our death, or the entrance back on the cosmic train we disembarked from.  We make it what it is and we can blame no one for our experience.  Sure, our innate nature has been masked, but it is not unknowable.  We live according to our awareness and that is as it should be.  That is what we came here for; therefore, every minute of earthly awareness should be basked in for its wonderful and delicious sensory experience.

The search for a greater meaning or purpose to life is in some ways its own problem.  It suggests that we cannot be here for any other reason than to embrace and enjoy everything about life.  It leads us to question our lives and the experience we have as meaningful in ways that they are not meant to be.  It adds seriousness to our existence that drives us to meanings that can only make sense in this reality but do not begin to address our own innate knowing that we are so much more than what we sense in this existence, or than what language will allow us to describe.  That is a lot about what this existence is about – coming to grips with the limitations of awareness and communication we otherwise have as gods.  There is no way we can describe our divine nature in the languages of humans, but we are not supposed to.  Remember we are on vacation and compared to our divine nature, the pace here on earth is slowed down considerably.  Our infinite state is a quickened state in which our awareness is of things incomprehensible in this life…  earth life is seriously slowed down.  In fact, our own human-ness slows us down even more.

For instance, it has been proven scientifically that our bodies, including what we call our physical senses, take in sensory input, several billion bits of information every second, and yet what we are capable of being conscious of is in the range of twenty to thirty bits per second.  Something about this experience as humans filters out so much of what goes on that what we are conscious of is infinitesimal to what is really happening.  When we consider our divine or spiritual natures, the information we receive is even greater than what we experience on the human level.  In fact, our spiritual sensitivity is so finely tuned it is barely detectable and in most scientific circles, it is nonexistent simply because we do not have the three dimensional means to detect it.  What is not detectable in this reality is usually left to speculation, theory or is just relegated as non-existent.  Even though most of us at one time or another have felt something in ourselves that is more far-reaching than we can articulate, if we cannot define it, or measure it, it cannot be, or so says our science.

Human consciousness or sub consciousness is not the extent of our experience.  We have built in conditions and filters that sift through the enormous amount of information, bombarding us every second, which screen out the majority of our experience.  This is what I mean when I refer to life as an illusion in my book On Being God.  What makes it into our conscious awareness is what we have been conditioned or programmed to know and accept.  Most of us have heard that when the Spanish ships appeared on the horizon upon discovering the “New World”, the inhabitants could not see them.  There was nothing in their conditioning that could explain what they saw and yet intuitively they saw something.  Their programming simply could not identify it and nothing in their experience, other than clouds, could the ships on the horizon be compared to.

We know it took the shamans of those native people several days to come up with a description they could then convey to the rest of the people.  Only then could they identify this new phenomenon and only then could they put this new description into their own language and make it part of their experience.  Consider how much is going by us if in every second of life, billions and billions of images, sounds, smells, tastes, touches and any number of sensory inputs we can’t possibly remember get discarded by processes we barely understand.  Life goes on around us at light speed but we only sense it at a snail’s pace.  And the civilizing of ourselves, as we refer to it, is only slowing it down even more.  Think about what is passing us by.

In the early 1990’s, I worked for a telecommunications company whose products helped optimize the available bandwidth of copper phone lines around the world.  Cellular technology was in its infancy as was fiber optics, so maximizing the available telephone bandwidth was of major importance because there were only so many copper lines available to an ever increasing population of telephone users.  The product we developed was a device that would convert an analog voice signal to a digital signal, remove any extraneous noise such as the static or ambient noise one often heard on a telephone land line, and then packetize the cleaned up digital signal into small packets that would be sent across the line to another device that would assemble the packets, convert the digital signal to an analog signal and, wonder of wonder, a voice was heard speaking just as on any phone call.

What was so unique about this product, for the time, was that in processing calls in such a way and by eliminating all the extraneous noise, we could put sixteen voice conversations across a telephone line that up to that time could only carry one, representing a huge savings to businesses who were paying for multiple lines at great cost as well as a serious improvement to the usage of the available bandwidth. One of the interesting facets of developing this technology was the idea that the extraneous noise in normal telephone conversations carried no useful information and could be removed without any affect to those speaking and those listening.  Little did our developers know that the noise did provide one very important piece of information.

All of us who have used the old land line telephones always had a sense that our call was viable because we could hear the noise of the connection during breaks in the conversation.  The information carried by the noise was that the call was still connected.  Even though the noise adds nothing to the words spoken or heard, it did add to the assurance that in between words spoken and words heard the line was still connected.  When we removed that assurance, sure enough, people who used the new technology complained that during the breaks in a conversation, the line went so silent they couldn’t tell if the connection was still intact.  The familiar noise of land line conversations was a carrier of information that, like so much in our reality, is taken for granted but missed if it is gone.

We are missing more and more in our reality due to the stripping away of the noise of life that civilization, culture, and upbringing filters out, and the absence of it is causing us to be aware of less but to seek more.  In other words, we are starving ourselves of the richness of life in all its forms and replacing it with the illusions of culture and civilization that have been drained of nutrients necessary to the soul.  Our aloneness in the world stems not from the isolation we feel from our brothers and sisters.  It stems from the filtering of life that has isolated us from our own god-ness and that of everyone else.  That is what we seek in life – not human connection, but divine connection.    Individually and societally, we are crying out more and more for something to fill our satiated souls, and more and more civilization devises empty stimulation to keep us in control – in check from venturing away from the illusion we know.

The illusion we live, like the processed foods we eat, have been stripped of those things that would enrich and nourish us and replaced with fillers and synthetic nutrients that satisfy temporarily but do not fill us.  Our connections to nature have been replaced with television, radio, internet and other civilized forms of media that have been carefully engineered to play to an illusory beat we have all been taken in by.  Like the packetizing of small pieces of digitized voice from a telephone call, information is carefully fed to us at a rate not to exceed our ability to pay attention.  So much of the information is stripped away that we only get teased with what is really happening and before we have a chance to try to figure out what information has been stripped away, we are hit with another perfectly timed, perfectly sized packet of seriously reduced information.

The illusion is so complete that we, as participators in it, have accepted slogans such as “give them what they want” believing that what we want is what we are being given.  Meanwhile, for those who search for greater awareness, getting outside of the illusion is extremely difficult and so they search in vain among the institutions of civilization for the soul nourishment they crave.

What was intended to be a stopping off point, a vacation from other awareness has now become a desperate struggle to somehow survive natural forces that, while once were so much a part of us, have now become the enemy.  Our illusion of what this reality is has become so synthesized that we have replaced what was always intended – enjoyment, enrichment, tranquility and nourishment – with a struggle fraught with peril, tragedy and synthetic stimulation.  Our cosmic vacation has become so empty, so stressful that we now look for ways to vacation from the vacation!  And where do we go?  To those places with as little civilization as possible.  We go to those places where we can rest, soak up the sun, or be inspired by the beauty of a natural wonder such as a mountain, a river, the ocean or a canyon.  We sometimes go to the civilized, manmade attractions but, while fun and stimulating; they often leave us empty and un-refreshed.

The oldest among us recall fondly the quieter and less hectic times they grew up in and the freedoms they enjoyed then that are so distant now.  The youngest of us cannot even conceive of these things they describe.  The sterilizing manner of civilization removes the adventure and connectedness to the world whose intention it was all along to enrich us and enliven us from an infinite “other world” reality.  Our souls came here for enrichment, not our bodies, and yet it is our bodies that our civilized world caters to.  The experience of life has become a race, a competition to find purpose and meaning by indulging the senses in every possible way, such that the soul is lost completely to the gratification of the physical or three dimensional aspect of our lives.  We hear the statement that “we are spiritual beings having a physical experience”.  Yes, we are having a physical experience, but not to the extent that we completely overshadow our spiritual nature.

In the Old Testament, there is a story of the man Job whom most have heard of in some form or another.  The story of Job is the story of a man who has everything this life can offer.  He is a man of great wealth, influence and notable character.  He is God-fearing and righteous and is blessed with a large family, creature comforts, as we call them and the respect of everyone in his country.  Job’s story takes a bizarre twist as Satan convinces God to let him break Job and show God that if he were to lose all the things in life he possesses, that Job would lose his faith and curse God.  God allows Satan to literally take everything from Job including his family, wealth, and good fortune.  Satan is even allowed to cause great scourges and illness to come upon Job, but Job, while physically broken in every way, never forsakes his faith, nor does he turn against God.  Job does, however, question why one as righteous as he, is treated so poorly by the God he worships.  He even asks God to take his life and end his misery.  Job suffers all that is thrown at him, but never accepts that he is evil or that God is punishing him for some act he has committed.  Job does seek for answers to his suffering and requests to speak to God face to face.  God grants Job’s request and appears to him as a whirlwind.

It is extremely interesting God’s response to Job and very relevant to our experience here in this life.  Instead of speaking in any way to Job about his suffering, God directs Job to look all around and take in all the beauty and wonder he is surrounded by.  God covers every aspect of creation and life on this earth and not once addresses Job as a sinful man or in a way Job desires.  All manner of creatures are mentioned as well as the wind, rain, water, snow, hail and frost.  It can be taken that God rules over everything and is greater than all things but it is as if God is trying to show Job that the things that are naturally here on earth are what is important in life.  All of it is here for the good of our souls and yet our so called civilizing or taming of nature is not unlike that of Job questioning God why he is made to suffer.

How is it that we can suppose that the egoic cravings of humans can nourish our starving souls when any of it has no comparison, whatsoever, to the beauty, majesty and abundance of this earth?  The treasures of life are not found in the creations of man.  They are found in the raw creative beauty of which we are all a part.  When we see that eagle soar high above and we gasp for breath as we watch, “we” are every bit as breath-taking and none of it is because we have created our cities, monuments, and wonders.  It is because our souls, like the eagles, soar above everything we believe important and look down on something so vast and wonderful.  Nothing in our creative imagining comes close to its splendor.

We are the recipients of this splendor.  No act or outcome in this life will change the nature of our soul in the eternities.  Nothing we do here matters, so all that we need do here is embrace everything that goes on, every experience, every accomplishment, and every aspect of the life we live should be embraced in every possible way as another part of our vacation. None of us should ever feel we are victims of circumstance when we step back on to that cosmic train.  We should be refreshed, invigorated, uplifted and alive from a richness of experience we may never know again, and while in infinite terms the experience is a blip on the cosmic screen, every part of this experience should leave us absolutely vibrating.  What a gift it is to be here and to experience the incredible highs and lows of humankind.  We should relish every moment of it.

Too many can’t wait, like Job of old, to get out of life and back on board the train.  Life has not been the pleasure trip it was meant to be, but that is only because in the egoic life we live and try to fit into, we lose sight of why we are here.  As God spoke to Job and asked him to identify one thing in his experience that remotely compared to the splendor of this planet and everything on it, Job shrank before Him and could not.  The reason is that there is no manmade thing that compares to anything on earth and in infinite terms, nothing on earth including earth itself compares to our lives in eternity.

In the last chapter of Job, the epitaph, Job is restored to his health, position, and stature that he knew before Satan physically broke him.  In fact, it was greater than before.  The story of Job is a metaphor for us here on earth living life that regardless of our circumstances or how we view our life experience, in the end we are restored to our unique and divine situation.  If we learn to see this life, our experience, as God instructed Job to view it, nothing else matters.  Nothing we do or accomplish in this life will ever surpass just being a part of life here on earth in whatever form it takes.  The cosmic train leaves no one behind regardless of how the earth experience went for them.  Like Job, we are all restored back to that infinite reality we all exist in.  We won’t be looking back as in infinity, all things blend together into one big whole, and it is wondrous.  All of it is wondrous!

Life and living are the only reason we are here and all of it is to be enjoyed, but only as you choose.  We cannot fail at life! There really are no illusions, only the ones we choose to accept as our condition.  We can change everything in our experience here in this life and we should because we get back onboard the cosmic train all too soon.

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Stream of Life

This is the last chapter in my book: “On Human Being – Loving & Living without Purpose.”

 

Follow a stream from its highest point, whether it is a spring releasing water from an unknown source or from the snows of winter melting and giving their life giving waters to everything below.  As the stream finds its way down from its heights, it passes by or over many obstacles along its way, but it always seems to find a way.  Its course often seems impossible, but as it runs into obstacles, it finds the path of least resistance which sometimes means going around obstacles or perhaps it waits patiently to fill a certain low spot that will allow its waters to eventually flow over its would-be obstruction.  As we follow the stream, it will sometimes rush in great torrents down steep hillsides or spill over high cliffs into pristine pools below.  Sometimes it will meander through large open meadows where beautiful alpine flowers bloom and fill the landscape with color, fragrance and brilliance.  Perhaps the stream splits off and fills the meadow with small tributaries that merge back together.

 

The sounds of the stream also tell us something about its travels in that it will gurgle as it meanders through unobstructed fields and meadows, but it rushes and roars as it surges over cliffs, down steep canyons filled with large boulders and other obstructions.  As we continue our journey following the waters, we might see another stream joining ours, increasing its size and power.  Still, the waters push forward, twisting and turning as needed to work its way around the landscape as effortlessly as possible.  In fact, as we observe this stream, it never occurs to us that the waters are fighting their way downward.  It all seems so effortless and easy.  Even in those places where the river has cut its way through rocks and cliffs that, when looking at, simply does not look possible.

 

The stream weaves its way through a tapestry of life introducing us to all manner of trees, shrubs, plant life, and animal and insect life of all kinds.  Some of the places the stream takes us are shaded from the sunlight and are cool and dark, even forbidding, while other places are sunlit and brilliant and the shadows cast on the moving water make it look different, even mesmerizing.  There are places on its journey where it shoots through cracks in the rock and we see rainbows cast so close, we can touch them or we feel the cool mist on our faces.  Everything about this journey is peaceful and calm and the constant rushing of the river soothes us and at times we may even find ourselves talking to the waters as if they could hear.  They can! Never do we sense, as we journey alongside the stream, that it struggles to get where it is going.  It moves effortlessly, inexorably passing by all the wonders of its long journey to get to its destination which, by the way, does not exist.  As it passes by life, it gives life by giving of itself so that all is refreshed, nourished and uplifted.  It is a relaxed life that looks for peace wherever it goes, and it goes where it goes simply because that is where it goes.  We may find evidence along the way when it changed course or with the help of natural forces it moves out of one bed and into another.  Still, it matters not.  The stream is not choosing a path to follow.  It is simply flowing and as it flows, the path opens up, and with each new opening, new adventure, new beauty and wonder lies before it and it brushes up against all of it, content to take it all in and give back what it can in the form of life giving water.   Onward, ever onward, it moves through hills and valleys, forest and fields.  Taking in but giving back.

 

The stream gives life, but is given to life as life is given to it.  Its course is never straight nor is it narrow or wide.  We cannot map its exact course because a map of the stream’s journey could never account for every detail the stream encounters on its way down the mountain. The stream does not choose this way or that.  It simply flows where the grade of the mountain (life) takes it and it embraces and gives back to everything it encounters on its way.  Every aspect of the journey is just that – part of the journey. There is no purpose other than to serve as that part of the journey.  That incredible moment is as the water passes by all that matters and all is uplifted and better for the experience.  No great crossroads or turning points in this encounter or that one.  Just life giving of itself for all to marvel at and enjoy.  The stream moves on, as do we.

 

There are no perfect geometric patterns in life as we all would like to believe there is, or as our math and science teachers say.  The straight path does not exist except in our imagined lives.  There is no straight way to any purpose we consider to be our very own.  Life is a stream!  We are taught from a very early age that the shortest distance between two points is a straight line, but no part of our life on earth is a straight line.  In life, the shortest distance between two points is the one that took you from point A to point B regardless of what distance you traveled or the time it took. Ego looks at life in a finite way, and in so doing, it must find order and structure that was never intended to be there.   Our true life is an infinite experience and every twist and turn, the ebbs and flows, as we call them, are never consistent with what our egos expect.  This is the cause of suffering in individuals as well as in society.  Ego constructs a true and ordered life and even uses sacred writings and ancient wisdom to reason with us that if we follow the prescribed path it reasons is the correct one, life will work out and flow effortlessly to the end.

 

Those who rigidly follow their ego’s prescribed course often find themselves in turmoil and needless suffering because they followed the rules and they didn’t get where they were supposed to.   Life is full of Monday morning quarterbacks looking back at what went wrong with their plan or what they could have done differently to achieve the pre-planned outcome.  We see this second guessing, questioning in every aspect of our lives including religion, academics, and occupations.  We might hear someone exclaim, “I followed God’s laws as I have been taught them”, or “I worked hard and did everything I was supposed to, but why was I not protected or spared an outcome I was sure could not happen if I obeyed all the rules.”   Unlike the natural flow of the stream which always finds its way, many will push against the natural course of life.  They will push against it and question their misfortune.  You can almost see them standing in the stream facing upward with clenched fist defying the direction of flow as if challenging it to reverse its direction and go where they command it.  All it does, however, is move forward, following its natural course, either moving around you as you fight against it, or sweeping you up in its current.  Life does not care about the choices we make.  Life, like the river, flows on, embracing everything in its path, and giving back every step of the way. If we could see our lives as a river or stream and simply flow with it, our journey would be so much more pleasant and our expectations would not get mixed up or confused with the twists and turns in life we could not see coming.

 

The grand part of life we can all enjoy is the pure experience of it.  A river has no purpose other than to flow where it will, and it is the same for us.  Life flows on whether we resist it or not.  Why not enjoy it? Human ego is so busy finding or giving meaning to the process of life and finding justification and cause for everything that happens that we miss much of its inherent beauty.  We pass by the works of man or nature and never see them because our focus is on understanding life rather than living it.  In trying to understand it or analyze it, we miss it or it passes us by.  Every bend in the stream, every change in direction is an opportunity to experience life in a new and incredible way, and particularly from our own unique perspective.   Maybe we won’t experience things as others might, but what we do experience is uniquely ours and the only enrichment we need take from any experience is our own to appreciate and fully embrace.  “What happens; happens.”  Not because we have control over life by the choices we make, but because there are no wrong choices, which is the same as saying there are no choices at all.  If we participate in life without the mental anguish of deciding the better of all our various choices then anything we do, any path we follow will be good and right and un-judge-worthy. This type of participation in life removes the resistance we feel as well.

 

I used to tell my daughter, who would work so hard to get cast in school plays, or achieve academic success only to be disappointed over and over, that life was not fair.  I would tell her that she would encounter situations throughout her life that would prove that life was unfair and that she would be mistreated along the way, even though she worked harder and harder to achieve her objectives.  How naïve I was and, unfortunately, the message I imparted to her was completely wrong.  Not only is life fair, but it is completely honest.  Life is truth therefore it cannot be dishonest.  The only dishonesty in life is our own dishonesty which culminates deep within the egoic structures of the mind.   Our egoic identity is the only thing on this planet that resists the natural flow of life, to the point that what we have come to believe about ourselves and what we are is the only dishonest thing in life.  Ego-constructed reality and reality are diametrically opposed to each other and we get caught up in the game of life that convinces us that life is hard and not always just or fair.  Ego is always swimming against the current of life, trying to offer another kind of reasoning for the ebb and flow that doesn’t always seem so pleasant.   Life is always honest and it always finds the way to bear that out.  How hard we sometimes struggle to keep what we know about ourselves from ever seeing the light of day, and so we bring dishonesty to the light of life.  Our lies, our dishonesty dims the light of life, and compounds our struggle against the stream that, if we would only let go of everything we hold so tightly to, would all drift out of sight and our lives would freely and effortlessly blend together with the flow of life never to be consumed in worry, doubt or the endless game of making ourselves “other” than ourselves.

 

Nothing in our three dimensional awareness can account for what is really happening and therein lies the greatest lie we tell ourselves.  The more precise and defined we become, the less aware we are; and the more we convince ourselves that we are precise and defined, the more of our true selves we trample under foot, and the greater our lie becomes. The lack of awareness culminates in the denial of the stream of life we all follow.  It is to convince ourselves that we can make the stream of life straight and exact according to geometric rules that only hold in a manmade reality.  We convince ourselves that within the sterile structure of manmade forms is the answer to who we are if we but push science to find the one simple equation that defines everything we will ever need to know.   Only the ego could have created such a lie.  Only ego could convince us that straight lines can be found in nature and that a formula can be derived that will be able to predict everything we can expect for the future and give an explanation for everything that has happened in the past.  Conscious awareness is a very limited awareness because of its ability to dump so much information so quickly we cannot even sense that it is happening.

 

As we meander or tumble through life, we tend to miss the incredible sights along the way as they are happening, but we know they were there because we think back upon them. Sometimes we look forward to the horizon out yonder and think that when we get there, things will be so much better, or all our questions will be answered.  We easily look forward and backward because those are the places we can most freely and successfully lie about.  In the conversation we have with ourselves, we can reminisce how much better things were “back then” or how much better they will be in some future “when”.   Now, the present moment we exist in right now, is an honest moment that is pure and untainted by any thought for yesterday or tomorrow until our egoic reaction to it poisons it with untruth.  Facing the present is our most daunting challenge because of its purity.  In our un-pure state, we have difficulty facing the purity of present reality because being present forces us to look at ourselves without the ideological masks that we have created to shield us from the glare of present reality.  Being present strips us clean of all the false definition we use to demonstrate ourselves to the world.  It is a scary place for the ego.  In fact, it is a place the ego cannot exist in because ego is anything but honest.   Ego needs identity.  That is why it always reminds us and everyone else of its past accomplishments or projected future achievements.  These are its cover; a safe haven from something that cannot be explained in its terms, its language.

 

The stream of life is infinite.  The egoic life is finite.  The two cannot co-exist.  They cancel each other out.  Either we are in the flow and completely truthful or we are in illusion and living a lie.  The stream of life is enjoined with the world and nothing is missed along the way.  The largest of egos and the highest degrees of knowledge and education cannot describe what the stream knows.   Its world is the whole world and it is one with it.  It knows the terrain, the hills, valley and rocks along the way and is never fooled by images condensed and printed on a map that the ego provides.   It feels everything and reaches out to everything, as it gives to life, its “own” life. Consciousness cuts away so much of life while ego tries so hard to convince us that what we are conscious of is the real nuts and bolts of life.  It works hard to convince us that its view of the world “is” the world.  Its view is always looking backward or forward, but never does it acknowledge the present with its billions and billions of pieces of information discernible right now to a quiet non-egoic soul.

 

We are in the stream of life whether the egoic self believes it or not, and the stream always moves ahead, even if we fight against the current.  Our experience is an unfolding. The more we flow with life, the more a part of us life becomes. Every aspect of the terrain we pass through is our guide, our map and our journey becomes an infinite stream of intuition and awareness that consciousness no longer blots out.   Our intuition and our wonderful bodies are sensory instruments available to all of us to navigate and enjoy our life experience here on planet earth.   We step off the cosmic train for a short time and we can enjoy the experience or fight against it.  We choose.  The ego created world is calculated and sterile and does everything it can to reduce the stimulation we all are equipped to comprehend.  Granted, the comprehension is not in the language of ego, which has also been stripped away of the greater part of knowing.  Our intuitive abilities need to be at the forefront of our awareness, not in the background as they often are.  Tune them in and turn on the truth of real life. Real existence! Destiny is unknown, therefore, non-existent.

 

The possibilities available to us along our journey through life are endless.  Ego wants to see and plan for the end.  It seeks a goal, an end that, when reached, is somehow a utopic conclusion to a well-planned life strategy. I was speaking with a friend one evening who was looking for a catalyst of perhaps thought or an individual such as Buddha or Jesus, who by their words and deeds could change the hearts and minds of people to live in peace.  He shared his thoughts about how the so-called age of enlightenment some 500 years earlier, which was ushered in by such great minds as Newton, Descartes, Pascal and others, had failed to provide the predicted “know how” to change a dark world into an enlightened one.  The age of enlightenment was supposed to find “mind made” solutions to all the ills of human existence, including war, poverty, education, government, and every other aspect of life.  My friend recognized the failure of the intellectual mind or so-called “enlightened mind” to accomplish anything other than to increase suffering and the carnage of war on a greater, more massive scale.   While he lamented this failure of enlightened minds to solve complex world issues, he asked me, “If the age of enlightenment is not the answer, what is the catalyst, event or individual that brings about changes the enlightenment sought but could not produce?”

 

My answer was not what he wanted to hear.  I told him that to look, in any way, to an outward cause, to an individual, or event would never bring about the changes in human existence he sought.  The only change or catalyst he could ever affect was his own.  I told him that we, as humans, are all a part of the stream of life, but that we each are our own stream as well.  Individually, we affect the larger stream, but with human reasoning, we will likely never see it.   When we become our own catalyst, our change, we become the larger stream and it becomes us and our outlook on the conditions of the world we wish were different becomes part of a compassionate whole.  When such a change takes place in us individually, everything else changes as well.  My friend listened thoughtfully, but was unable to see it.  His mind was convinced that something big and extraordinary was needed to alter things in the world as we know it.  My response to him was that an individual transformation to higher awareness is big and extraordinary, but he would not accept that as an answer.  “There must be something,” he mused. I could not help him.

 

The majority of us look for the same thing.  We look to our gods, our leaders, our parents, someone, anyone or anything that will reverse the way things are in a massive and dramatic way.  We are conditioned to be this way.  Heaven forbid we allow ourselves control of our own lives.  That is how it was in the so-called enlightenment, when highly sophisticated and educated men determined that they could figure out anything intellectually.  It continues to be a myth in the present day, yet the stream flows onward, ever onward and as long as we look for the utopic conclusion, the life strategy or catalyst that changes in a massive way those things we have determined must change we swim against the current of life.  Life is, at that point, a struggle and we will never win against it.  Despite our struggle and good intentions, we will be washed away in the inexorable flow of life that always moves forward.

 

Everyone is eventually swept away in the current of life.  Some hang on until the very end while others stop resisting and glimpse the beauty and splendor that is always there if we simply let ourselves get caught up in the flow. The stream of life simply is!  So too is life.  Life is about being in the flow, not having or fighting for or against it.  Regardless of the things we determine to be important, or the causes we choose, we struggle against or go with the stream of life but it always flows onward to an infinite destination we will never know.   But we need not know because such knowing will not add one thing to the incredible beauty, abundance and wonder of our existence.  We need only breathe life as it breathes us and go where it takes us. There is no end in infinity!  The stream of life is eternal life; so are you!

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Of Carts and Bags – A tale of Christmas

It was a cool, somewhat gloomy morning with a light snow falling but not accumulating.  Just a few things to be done including a quick trip into town to pick up some things to complete a project I was finishing up.  The large home improvement store, in town, wasn’t crowded, surprisingly, especially for a weekend and so close to Christmas.  I suspect the dreariness of the day was the reason so few were out and about.

I made my purchases, exited the store and began making my way across the parking lot to my car when I noticed out of the corner of my eye an older, disheveled woman, running in the direction of my car and on a trajectory that would intercept me just about the time I reached the car myself.  I didn’t give it much thought until she raised her hand and started calling out, “sir, sir, oh sir can you help me out?”  I looked up without really considering that my car was alone in that section of the parking lot and while I acknowledged her call to me for help I assumed she was going to ask me to assist her in loading something in her car.  I was only too happy to be of assistance but looking around the parking lot there were no cars nearby that I thought might be hers.

As she approached me she surprised me by asking if I could drive her to meet a friend exactly seven point two miles up the highway.  I quickly thought how odd it was that she knew the exact mileage to her destination but before I could say a word she told me her car had broken down and she really needed to meet her friend just up the road.  She offered to pay me for gas if I could just help her out in this small but important way.   There was an urgency in her plea that overwhelmed any sense of concern in me and I simply agreed to take her to meet her friend.  She was so grateful and thanked me profusely while I opened the car door to let her into my car.  As she passed in front of me to get into the car I noticed the foulest smell.  It was the smell of dirty wet dog with a hint of urine and rotting milk.

I got into the car, started the engine and quickly opened my window as the smell was so disturbing.  I put the car into gear and began moving when she asked if I could go up to the other end of the parking lot so she could get some things from her car to take with her.  I agreed and slowly moved across the lot expecting her to point out her car so I could stop and she could gather the things she needed.  As we neared the edge of the building she instructed me to stop but there were only a few cars nearby parked in the employee parking area.  I asked her which car was hers and she just instructed me to stop.  I stopped and as she stepped out of the car she told me to just stay here and I’ll be right back.

I looked around to see which car she was going to get into but she slipped in between two cars and began pushing a shopping cart that was full of boxes and plastic grocery bags.  I stepped out of the car and she called out, “oh no you don’t need to help, I can get this.”  I walked back to the rear of my car and opened the rear gate and began to remove items from the cart and place them into the car.   It dawned me that there really wasn’t a broken down car and that the items I was loading into my car were her possessions.  Worn out clothing, worn out shoes and a dirty sleeping bag along with some odds and ends that I knew must be important to her.  Her story about her broken down car now seemed a ploy to tug on my heartstrings to get me to help her out.  MY demeanor changed from cheery helper to guarded dupe who had just been taken by a homeless, bag lady.

We got everything into the car, stepped into the car ourselves and headed for the interstate on ramp heading north.   She reiterated that the destination was only seven point two miles up the highway and that she truly appreciated me helping her out. I didn’t say anything because I was now put out.  She began to speak of how she had fallen on hard times, that her mother had fallen very ill and lost her house while her father died suddenly just about the time she lost her own job.   It was a tale of hardship and loss but she never really lost her perkiness as she told it.  She seemed very happy to be alive even amidst the hardships she had encountered.   She thanked me over and over even as I tried to tell her it was no big deal and not to worry.

I kept a close eye on the odometer because I didn’t want to overrun her exit but we drove far beyond the seven point two miles she said we were going and I began to wonder just how far the drive would be.  It was about fifteen miles.  I was stewing.  She pointed out the exit we were to take and I made the turn off the freeway when she asked me, “you know, speaking of hard luck if you wanted to help me out with a few dollars I would really appreciate it. “This was the proverbial straw.

I blurted back abruptly, “wait a minute, you mean you’re asking me for money when you offered to pay me for gas to drive you to where you are going?”  She responded, “oh yes that’s right I did offer to pay for gas.  How much would you like for your gas.”  I was flabbergasted.  I wasn’t about to take any money from her but I asked, “do you even have a car?”  She said that she did have one about seven years ago.  Very sternly I began to lecture her about her lack of honesty and how if she was up front and honest that she might get a better response from people and more would be likely to help her out.  She agreed with everything I said and began apologizing and promised that she would take to heart all the things I told her would make her a better panhandler.

She became very quiet other than to point out a Target store down the road that was where she would be getting out.  I was feeling smug as could be that I had exerted my two cents and had successfully given her useful instruction on being a better homeless person.  I drove her to a place where excess shopping carts had been lined up along the outer wall of the building and stopped, got out of the car while she did the same. Without speaking she walked over got a cart and wheeled it back to the car and I began helping her load.  She placed each bag in a particular order and meticulously positioned them as if she knew exactly where each one belonged in that particular cart.  She didn’t have much but she loved what she had.  My heart tugged.

When she finished loading she looked up at me and thanked me again not only for the ride but the instruction as well.  She offered to pay again and I told her there is no way I will take any money from you.  I then reached into my pocket and removed my wallet, took out every bill I had and handed it to her.  It wasn’t more than seventy dollars and she pleaded with me that she would not take it while reaching over as fast as she could and snatching from my hands.  It didn’t matter. I would have given her more if I had it.  I was feeling a bit like a heal but her graciousness poured out again and she thanked me over and over. I smiled at her and told her she should have a nice meal with her friend.

The encounter was over.  I got into my car, drove out of the parking lot and about the time I was entering the main road when I suddenly burst into laughter.  Not ordinary laughter but debilitating, full on, belly laughter. You know the kind that takes your breath away and creates tears that stream down your face.  I had to pull over to the side of the road because I had no bodily control and was not able to see the road through the tears.  I roared like never before and the convulsive heaves of laughter poured from my mouth in huge waves.  I was hysterical; absolutely hysterical.  This lasted for several minutes before I could see through my tear soaked eyes and I began to breathe deeply and methodically so I could regain enough composure to make the drive back home.

As I was sitting there the thoughts began to pour in.  I had just lectured this lady, who carried all her possessions in a shopping cart, on the virtues of honesty in the performance of living an effective “homeless” life while at the same time realizing that not only had she secured the ride to her next place of temporary residence but she got all my money as well and by doing it exactly the way she had always done it!   I began to laugh again, only this time at the smugness of my offering her a better way while sitting on the side of the road, roughly thirty miles from home and not a penny in my pocket.

There is no lesson here or profound meaning.  This is nothing more than a chance encounter with a fellow soul whose trajectory in life happened upon mine at this unique time and place in the eternities.  I judged her and who knows but perhaps she judged me, as well, but even still it was the connection of two souls living the life they were living and without the judgments each life was perfectly fine.  We find a way, don’t we?

I smile, still, when I think of this intersection of our paths and often wonder how she is doing and really how special my encounter with her was.  A lecture, a laugh and smiles for the memories. Looking back and then returning to the present there is no one I would have rather given my money and a ride too.  Merry Christmas.

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Choosing Supportive Thoughts

I was recently asked this question by a dear friend: “Carl can you share your thoughts on choosing thoughts that support ‘us’ and who is that chooser?”

I must admit that my response is somewhat disjointed but I think it does get to the point I am trying to make.  Here is my response and by all means let me know your thoughts.  This is a most important question to any seeker who moves through life “chopping wood and carrying water.”

An obvious response to such a question is to choose thoughts that are upbeat and positive and in a lot of new age thought, with emphasis on the Law of attraction, we are taught to choose only good thoughts and to even make judgments about how things are going by the way we think and feel about them.  The fundamental problem with this idea of “choosing,” this or that, is that we give ourselves over to forces that somehow have control of our life experiences whether they be good or bad as we judge them.  I have often said that “experiencing life from the standpoint of “how you feel” about something is not a realistic nor a good formula for life” simply because life is a “full on” mystery and we have no control over the events that are occurring, the people who cross our paths or circumstances we find ourselves in at any given time.

What we must unlearn is that we can somehow “think” our way to a so called “abundant” life.  Any thought is likely to be against this because we are all taught that thinking is the only way to climb out of any “bad” situation we find ourselves in or the converse of this which is to think our way into maintaining the “good” situation we find ourselves in.  Most New Age teachers go so far as to tell us that they can take us out of any adverse situation by simply following the formula they themselves have experienced even though their unique experience can never be yours or my experience no matter how hard we put our mind (thoughts) to it.

I have struggled with this question for many, many years and always come back to the saying that “we are spiritual beings having a human experience.”  In other words, “WE” are not these bodies (which includes the mind and all its thoughts) so we need not take anything in our experience too seriously because we already are spiritual.  I say we are more than the gods we create in our minds to subject ourselves too. So what thoughts support this?  That really lies at the heart of the question and what we might think supports this likely does not.

At first blush we might look at the words of Paul the apostle who encouraged us to seek after things such as, “…whatever things are true, whatever things are honorable, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report; if there is any virtue, and if there is any praise, think about these things.  These are all things we would identify as “good” things to seek after and think about but there is a subtlety that is very misleading.  All these things require a judgment which is the tool of ego to disassemble anything going on in life, e.g., this is good and this is bad.  The ego always picks a side and puts all the arguments in front of it to divide from those who see “good or bad” in a completely different way.

Right and wrong is the ultimate tool of distraction and ego plays this well.  Can you see this?  It would have been just as effective for Paul to have said “whatever things are not pure, not virtuous, not lovely, etc., and you could not have wound up with a greater mess than we currently have amongst humans in the world.  We are nuts with rightness and wrongness.   So what should we think if “thinking” is the nature of the human and especially what do we think that supports us?

The only answer I have found satisfactory to me is to be contrary to what the mind thinks.  That is when the mind wants to judge, don’t judge.  When the mind wants to declare something good, erase the thought. When the mind wants to uphold a particular view accept the “other” view instead.  Mind wants you to hold to an idea of good or bad; don’t do either.  Another way to say it might be “seek not to be happy but seek to find happiness in those things that, otherwise, make you unhappy.”  If you can get to this type of non-judgment and acceptance of what was once judged good or bad everything begins to “be” okay.  That is, happiness, joy and all the other things we endlessly seek resonate within as a natural condition of our non-judgments.  The mind leads away from happiness; it takes us “too” things that are supposed to make us happy but either don’t, or are very short lived.

Here is an example of a contrary thought that goes against a primary tenet of many of our judgments that says simply; “you deserve to be happy.”  Well, “no you don’t!   No one deserves to be happy. In fact no one deserves a life different from the one they are living.  Do you see that this puts unnecessary requirements on something that is simply our nature when we determine that nothing we can do, say, think or believe can make us happy.  Be happy…period.

Ultimately, you are probably gathering that I take the position that no thought is a good thought.  Ego never has a thought that does not contain the motive that I am right and you are wrong and if we were all honest with ourselves we would recognize our own complicity with this greatest of all egoic tools.  This is why I am such an advocate of limiting our thoughts.  I know this doesn’t answer the question but outside of accepting “what is” without any judgment whatsoever, can I come up with thoughts that support us.  In fact, you could say, the less we think about thoughts that support us the more likely we are to get to know “us,” meaning YOU that lies beneath the you that is merely the “thought” of you.

This leads to the second part of the question which is who is the chooser of the thoughts?  This question for me is a bit easier to answer.  My response is:  “The chooser isn’t choosing the thoughts; the chooser is experiencing the thoughts the human is experiencing and is completely unattached to any thought, thought.”  In other words, only humans react to “human thought.”

Ultimately, all I’ve got is “the thoughts that support us are the thoughts not thought.”  Silence is always the ultimate support for in “stillness, god is known” and being face to face with that which YOU are requires no description or definition of any mind based thought.  In fact, no mind could possibly conjure a description that came close to such knowing, even if the mind was working at one hundred percent.  The most thoughtful thought is the thought that contains no judgment and that pretty much negates any thought.  Don’t judge; now there’s a thought!

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Your Hands

Several days ago I was approached by a woman on my website: www.spiritual-intuition.com with a question that I have tossed around in my ponderings for a long, long time and which I feel is important for anyone who is seeking to become more aware of the otherness we all seem to know exists beyond our three dimensional reality.  I share the question and my answer here:

Question:

“The greatest difference between the power of intention and caring is that while caring attaches us to illusory outcomes we have accepted as important, intention is detached from any conception of caring.”

Your quote. Actually, I am EXTREMELY inspired by this . . . because “caring” doesn’t mean very much in the world of “doing.” I have thought about this tremendously because of what I do for a living and YES! “intention” is really what is the driving force behind “being.” It is interesting in that I work with people every day and caring is . . . nice . . . it is intention that creates all the little miracles. It isn’t belief, it isn’t faith it is intent. My question is: I find that my heart has love for them. I can’t DECIDE what is happening but INTENTION works with the healing. When they leave I send them off with “Courage Mon Brav.”. Does caring have a place where there is intention? Is “caring” unlike “loving” because love has no attachments where by definition “caring” does?

My response:

Cheryl,

Thank you for your question and sharing an example of intention. I love how you say that “it is intention that creates all the little miracles.” How poignant your expression and how interesting your detection of this in your practice.

Your question is one that I ponder quite often because “caring” is such a big part of the landscape of modern living and weaves itself into virtually every aspect of our dealings with other humans. In extreme cases of “caring”, aggressive action is often sanctioned because of it and virtually all forms of right or wrong can be justified under the umbrella of caring or, for that matter, love.

Intention, as you mention, has no focus and yet it does, as well, yet we cannot know what that focus is. We simply know that it is and without the discussion that it is this or that, we sense the power of it when it is working. Many times you might hear people say things like “I’m not sure what that was but I could feel some force or power”, or “I just knew what to do and did it without question or concern.” You experience this in your work. Intention is there and when we give ourselves to this power it becomes apparent that we, too, are the power. It is our essence and we are its.

For me love and caring are completely human, and mind based. We hear a lot these days the admonition to “love unconditionally,” however, if people were completely honest they could see that the propensity to love unconditionally is not possible if for no other reason than they have to say it is. Love and caring show up most powerfully in our own dependence which most of us will never admit. That is, our own need to look to others for any kind of approval. “You don’t care” or “you don’t love me” are examples of the outward expressions of this dependence. Perhaps another way to put this is to say that unconditional love or caring requires no dependence on “me” to notice it. Very hard to do.

The roots of caring and love are formed in the past, whereas, intention is always something that plays out in the present. Broken down, caring is a product of something that does not exist while intention is always at play in “what is” right now and only right now. Intention has no power in the past or in the future. Your example of “miracles happening,” in your own practice, occur while you and you alone are focused on anything but your caring. Miracles, as you are experiencing, don’t wait to happen. They just happen!

On the other hand it is difficult to sustain any action based on something that does not exist in present time and yet we see over and over those who try to do so and they’re “burning out” long before reaching the original objective of their caring. We use words like hope and faith to motivate our caring and watch the collapse of those whose actions seeded great good under the pretense that “caring” in any form could possibly sustain any action long term. Caring has to have the attachment to an idea or outcome that originated sometime long before this moment. It is completely unsustainable and it is always, always, always attached to “conditions.” Intention knows no conditions.

Caring is the strongest cord of ego and virtually unbreakable. It is the justifier of our causes and the power behind judgments of ourselves and others. It is full of conditions and rules. Intention is devoid of description and so just is; it is a force without reckoning of any kind. Intention supersedes loving and caring and I have often used the term “compassion” synonymously with intention. Both are unexplainable. It might be said that intention and compassion are the non-human forms of love and caring but having said that, it is a weak comparison. Neither intention nor compassion carries any meaning in human terms and yet those who know them, “know them.”

In conclusion, and I suppose the real answer to your question, is to say to you, send them away with both your love and your caring. The compassionate work has been done; intention has played out and while they may never know what it was, they will have felt it through your hands. Your hands, Cheryl; hands that have the amazing ability to touch reality and heal the world.

Again thank you so much for this.  All my love,

Carl

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Saviorism – Who saves you…and from what??

One of our greatest faith base deceptions and one that we all buy into in some form as humans is the mythology that something or someone is going to save us from whatever form of adversity we may face in our current experience. Throughout the ages humans have sought for outside sources to rescue us, or at least, to make fair what seems to be unfair in our existence.  Judgment day and Karma are forms of this “making fair” scenario and most of our common mythological stories are that they may save us from forces we believe are rooted in the idea of saviorism. This idea rings in every aspect of our existence including our governments, local and national leaders, religious leaders, corporate leaders, etc.

No greater deception exists in human experience then the idea that we can and will be saved by some benevolent force that possesses power greater than our own. In fact, in our government and religious institutions we willingly hand over our own power to individuals who are unable to control anything and in so doing squander our own innate ability to express our own individuality.  Did you get that?  We give our own power away – literally!

Regardless of our own individual politics, all government is seen as bad or good from the collective standpoint. Some faction sees the current leaders as their saviors while another faction sees it as doom and the cause of social problems whatever they may be. Both claim their own political saviorism as the way out of whatever dilemma they choose to embrace and blame the other as the cause for their existing problems.  It is a vicious cycle which we, collectively, will never get out of because regardless of your political view no one can save us.

It is a timeless condition of the human experience. “Somebody save me!” Religious institutions reflect the same kind of outward looking as well.  Jews continue to look for another king David who will rise up and put down all the enemies of Israel and save them from a world that is set upon their destruction.  At no time in history has any religious group looked more forward to a savior. Christians, too, look to the returning Jesus so save them and the world from those who do not believe in him, as their personal savior.”  The great saving device of this returning God is his swift and righteous judgment, righting all the wrongs Christians the world over have suffered.

For Muslims, Allah, will vindicate the faithful and restore the birthright they, too, believe was taken from them.  Hindu’s and Buddhists will cycle around in different forms until they have satisfied the requirements of God whose rules they subject themselves too. Their savior is time; endless time.

Religious institutions the world over whether they be large collective movements, small and localized, mystical, dogmatic, new age or old age all look to some force out there to equalize and make right what they collectively perceive as unfair or wrong.  All that is asked of the individual is to believe that the unique collective perspective will be right.   In other words, suffer now with patience and hope and ultimately you will be vindicated.  There is no difference whether the collective institution is secular or religious. They all cry, “We are right and they are wrong.”  People go to their graves with this kind of hope, believing everything they were taught was wrong will be righted!

Human history is littered with fallen saviors who came with the power of words and ideas but failed to provide any long-term solution to the plight of people or nations. In fact, history is nothing more than an endless parade of one thing not working but being overcome supposedly by something better only to fail and repeat over and over again. Winston Churchill referred to history as “just one damned thing after another.” How true.

If we can learn anything from history it is that we cannot learn from history! What we should gather from history is that nothing, no one, can or will save us. No president, political party, nation, religion, individual, philosophy or ideal can save us.  We cannot be saved because there is nothing to be saved from!

Somehow the human mind, the ego has convinced us that we all need something outside of us to make us whole and complete.  To protect us and make our lowliness or lack in the world a cause for equalization by some force that has power beyond our own. We are conditioned throughout our lives to accept some form of saviorism.  It is as if the ego is hiding from some great unknown crime for which it must pay by accepting an outside force to resolve.  It seems that the reality we all accept on some level is that guilt unworthiness, evil, etc. is the state of human awareness. It is not always aimed at our individual selves. These characteristics are often aimed at those who are not like us.  Thus the collective finger-pointing for our own collective ills.

Saviorism is dependency. It stems from the fear we are taught throughout our lives that we are to be perfect even though no one can describe perfection without their own unique judgment of it. We convince ourselves that no one can be perfect and that being the case the idea of needing saving is automatically formed. The idea is so pervasive it inserts itself into every aspect of our lives. It lies at the root of the karmic idea that “what goes around comes around.” “Sooner or later you will get yours” even if we have to wait a long time for it to happen. God, e.g. savior will make it right in the end.

Our saviors, consequently, take on many forms. They are people, places and things. Even pills and plants save us. For instance, we look for a pill to slim us down or prevent us from overeating. Heaven forbid we simply take control of our own lives and stop eating or start eating in ways that are healthier!  Instead, someone will create a pill that lets us eat anything we want and as much as we want without becoming overweight.  Perhaps the pill will come along that will motivate me to work out so I can get that body I have always dreamed of! Perhaps our savior is this new job I’ve been expecting that will launch both a new career direction and greater prosperity.

I have a friend who is partially disabled who lamented constantly that he could not be whole until his government disability was approved.  Now that his disability has come through, which was more than he anticipated; he now complains that he cannot live on the amount provided even though he does nothing to manage the money he does receive.

Can you see the subtlety of it?  My friend was saved from a story he created and now he has created a new story that the amount of disability is not enough. He is now looking for a new savior to rescue him from this latest unfairness.  After that a new unfairness will lurk into his awareness and he will turn to yet another savior.  “If I can just win the lottery it would save me from my financial burdens.”  I hold to my religious beliefs accepting fully my struggles, my faith will cause God to look favorably upon me and vindicate my lowliness.

We all do this.  The greatest saviors we look to are governments and religions because they attempt to right all the wrongs on a much larger scale but the nature of saviorism permeates every aspect of life and it affects every one of us regardless of our situation or circumstances.   The most subtle are our most benign daily wants and desires, particularly our relationships. How many times have we heard someone proclaim, “Oh I can’t live without him or her?” Or “I just won’t be able to go on if they break up with me,” etc.  As if life without someone could save us from life altogether!

So many of our individual stories and dramas are played out because of the insidious control our minds play that we must have something or someone in place that will make everything better. This is saviorism!  It even finds its way into new age thought that tells us that we can have anything we want if we put our focus and attention onto something even though the original premise is I can be saved from the lack I now have in my life by thinking about and working toward whatever it is I lack.

“Ask, and it will be given” is a common idea in our collective thought and yet at its core is that whatever it is you ask for will only come from some outside source to whom we are all beholden. That is saviorism.  In fact, the subtle implication is that all you need to do is ask and something greater than you will provide it. This thing, whatever you call it, is the kind giver of that which you do not have.  It will save you from what you do not have presently.

The only way out of this condition is to accept full responsibility for everything in your life. You create your existence and you, therefore, are your own savior should a savior ever be required, which when you take control of everything in your experience will never happen!  There is nothing to be saved from in the responsible life.  Taking responsibility for life is recognizing that nothing in human experience is personal to you even though it may seem to be.

We create our own experience and exist only as humans for a short while that will never be anything more than the experience.  When we take this kind of control over our lives we see that everything that happens is unique and wonderful even if the collective world comes to our rescue and tells us “it’s not right or good.”  It is said that “we must be the change we see in the world.”  In other words, until we decide that nothing outside our own unique existence can or need save us this idea of saviorism will haunt us for the entirety of our lives.  It never matters what the world thinks of us or how we view ourselves in it.  Nothing that happens needs outside forces to square our experience with anyone else’s or with collective thoughts and intentions.

You are the hero of your life. I am the hero of my own.  There is nothing that will save you simply because you are the hero, the savior and when we all remove our judgments of the experience we each individually enjoy something unique and special that no other can or will.  That is the beauty of discovering the divine within us.  It knows that this experience is nothing in infinity and is only to be enjoyed as only Gods can.  It also knows that there is nothing in infinity from which we can or need be saved. We literally have it all. We literally are ALL!

Adapted from the book “On Human Being – Loving & Living Without Purpose”

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The Nature of Spirituality

While working with my Sister in a village in Honduras where she had bought property and had set up a small clinic for the people of that village and surrounding areas I was able to see firsthand that spirituality is not a condition of what we possess or an arbitrary hierarchy of needs as so many of us believe.  There was every form of disease and malnutrition and every single person who came to her clinic would receive a dose of a de-worming medicine just for showing up. Parasites infested everyone because there was no infrastructure anywhere in Honduras that could provide basic needs.  Dirt floors and stick huts packed with mud were common and trips to the river were where the villagers drank, washed clothing, dishes and bathed themselves.

One day we, my sister and I, were talking about the children who always seemed to be hanging around. I observed that they all seemed so happy and asked my sister if she thought these little ones stood a chance of ever having a spiritual awareness. She exclaimed immediately that it was not possible in the least astrip 12 008 they were struggling with so many other issues that to discover their own divine nature would be impossible. I was surprised  by her response and asked, “How do you explain that they all seem so happy?” Her response was just as immediate and similarly direct. “I don’t know,” she said, “it puzzles me too because they have nothing and they have nothing to look forward to!”

I was not satisfied with this answer and pressed her a bit further on the subject of spirituality. She insisted that “basic needs” had to be served before anyone could advance to a more “enlightened” state and that outside the work she was doing to help the little ones in her village few if any had any chance of having anything other than a life of poverty and disease. I remember being saddened by her assessment of those children and pondered the sweetness in their faces and their complete exhilaration with the life they were living. Not once did I ever hear a child complain of their circumstances and everywhere I saw gratitude and acceptance, happiness and joy. In fact, when I was getting ready to leave three of the young children wrote me letters thanking me for coming to visit them and expressing how much they loved having me there with them. What moved me most, however, were their wishes for me. Each of these wonderful children wished for me to have “everything I desired” in life and to be happy.  Without having any concept of how “good” I had things in my life, how abundant and full of the things that are supposed to help us become “actualized,” these children were completely giving of themselves.  What they gave was more than all the riches in the world. They gave their love, their friendship and from the very depths of their souls they spoke to mine.

Their “giving” to me was from the depths of someone deeply spiritual but without, even, the label of “spirituality.” They were divine and it didn’t matter if they knew what that meant or not. Life for them was a treat as was my life when I was with them.  I wept when I read the words of giving and concern for my happiness.

Spiritually speaking these were the great ones. Amidst, the squalor, disease and rampant poverty, as we in the west would define it, I witnessed majesty as I have never seen it. I stood among giants and I trembled before them. I could no longer feel any sorrow for these children as my sorrow for them turned to sorrow for myself. I had become the judge of their existence and what I had seen for them was destroyed by what they already knew about existence. In desolation, they knew more than I ever hoped to. They were humble; I was embarrassed. I was completely undressed by the “gods” of this tiny little village and I have never been the same since. My prayer since that visit has been that the children of this village never discover the labels we put on them and that their simple view of life never gives way to the noise of our, so called, “actualized” descriptions.

Surely spiritual awareness, which I had sought for so many years, is not a property of attainment, acclaim, and fulfilment of so-called basic needs.  Spiritual awareness is our very first aspect; it is the very core of our nature.  How true the New Age statement that “we are spiritual beings having aSamiel human experience”.  There is nothing we must attain in order to achieve spiritual awakening.  In fact, it might be considered an arrogant assumption that we must somehow become something we are not, nor may ever be, in order to achieve higher states of awareness.   One might ask, “What chance do the poor and infirm have of ever reaching higher states of awareness if they must rise above basic needs when such a possibility may never present itself in their lifetimes?”  We all sense a kind of hypocrisy at such a question because we know that some of our greatest spiritual icons came from such circumstances.  Some even went from incredible wealth and royalty to a life of poverty and begging as a way to find the awareness I was convinced must come some other way.

We are spiritual beings.  Our first state of existence is a spiritual one and it is the human-ness of our earthly existence that conditions us to think that the human is not the second state but the first.  The focal point of our existence, the peak of the pyramid, if you will, is our most basic knowing, and poverty and lack are equally able as is wealth and riches, or education and intellect, to drive us from or to that knowing.

Adapted from the book: On Human Being-Loving & Living Without Purpose

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What do you do to be enlightened?

I was asked these two questions about enlightnment recently and wanted to share my thoughts with each of you as well. Here is the Question:

Do you think that we can all one day become enlightened? If so, what do we need to do?

My Response:    There is no “day” in some future time that we become enlightened. There is no future at all. Each of us already is enlightened and at various points in our lives we see it. Those who do get a glimpse of it are usually pulled into it by some event, such as the death of a loved one, or something else that causes deep reflection in which no “answer” comes.  Most people who have such an experience can always recount the emotional state they felt in such times but they almost always revert back to the egoic need to explain what is going on.  Most come to some conclusion that their “prayer” was answered or that an Ahhhh Haaa came to them and they understood in a way they hadn’t before.  What gets lost in these conclusions is that in that moment where no answer existed is the only place that enlightenment occurred.

In other words, enlightenment is not some magical, mystical awareness of all the, so called, “Big Questions.”  Enlightenment is the “nothing” that
existed before the “ego” needed an explanation.  It is the sweetness of being in the presence of absolute silence and not needing an explanation
for everything.  In that place there is no fear, love, happiness, sadness or any other emotional state. There is nothing but silence and it is in that
“not knowing” that “all” is known and none of it needs definition.

What do “we” need to do?  “Be still and know that YOU are god.”  In other words, unmask who it is that occupies your body by silencing the mind.  In
this place you will experience the grand mystery of which we are all a part. It’s all you can do. There is no “we” in this unmasking. You’re own
enlightenment will enlighten others.  The “god” that you are is never invisible to the “god” that they are. Something inside us always sees the greater light but it is in the quiet of the mind.  Quiet your mind and discover the “everything” that is contained in the “nothing.”  This is your enlightenment.

This is what you can do.

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