To your mind (all minds, that is), awareness looks like something that happened to you or someone else in the past, which is codified and proceduralised so that you can experience it again and again in the future. Just follow the procedure. Sadly, awareness is not a product of the past or the future, nor is there a set of rules and guidelines that will take you to it. In other words, “awareness” begins and ends with YOU, NOW, devoid of rhyme or reason. Stop following the rules!
Bozebits
There are no rules to spirituality, so if you obsess over any of it, you most likely have created a set of them (rules) that are nothing more than figments of your imagination, aka stuff you or someone else has made up. Solution? Stop making stuff up, and stop believing those who do!