Your search for truth, enlightenment, awareness, or whatever you call it is comparable to procrastination, which is little more than a purposeful pursuit of comfort and safety while fully aware that you are wasting time. It is never about what you may find. It’s about looking for what already is, which is scary because it’s right here, right now, and the safest way to put it off is to make stuff up that isn’t real, like your story of suffering, triumph, dreams, and ambitions.
What YOU are, buried beneath your procrastination, will never be told. IT can only be lived wholly and entirely without the comfort and safety your mind makes up. “Know thyself.” While scary, it’s a joy ride like nothing else you will ever experience.